Leaving Behind What Has Been

Greetings dear good hearted people~ 

We did it! We completed 2021. Our beautiful and only home, planet earth, continues to orbit our brilliant sun, bringing light to our dark days in the northern hemisphere, while the southern hemisphere in full light welcomes the whisper of darkness, all spiraling in our cosmic world.

Many ways you may have crossed this threshold, leaving behind what has been, and stepping into the new. Though I imagine for most of us it is a welcome new cycle. It is a powerful collective moment, regardless of the arbitrariness of the Gregorian calendar marking this time, to be in a shared moment of transition into a fresh start. A moment to reflect and vision and begin again.

I had a dream last night, in which I wanted to change the dream I was in, recognizing I had been in the dream for some time. I expressed to my companion that I was not sure about this visioning thing. My first attempt was to close my eyes, and then open them to see what signs revealed themselves in a sort of divination. However I found that I could still see even with closed eyes. I tried covering my closed eyelids with my hands, and still I could see. I then spoke out loud... I am simply going to embody the feeling state in which I want to be - open, trusting, in love with an undefended heart, in connection held within community. And I breathed that in and the dream changed.

We can change the dream. This is really exciting good news people. And oh, so needed right about now. We are the dreamers. The cosmic intelligence and creativity of life expressed in divine human form, with the power to change our state of consciousness and hence the dream we are living. The more people that awaken to the dream, and dream the dream awake to the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible*, shifts our collective experience to that dream, that new story. I am not polyanna-ish here, it is not a given, and of course things are dire and we are in trouble, and and and... yet, the future arises out of our present moment. The state of body mind we cultivate and where we focus our attention in the moment matter. One person at a time, starting the only place we can to change our consciousness. Here and now, in our own bodies and minds. Pretty amazing.

What helps you stay in and return to joy and beauty, to a feeling of wellness and wholeness, amidst the very real and tragic and painful losses and feeling states? Do more of this. Together and in solitude. This year I have been more deeply grateful for music than ever to help me find my courage and joy. My body loves to move, to allow it all to move through. My most listened to playlists are a feel good playlist, a remind playlist a love and communion playlist and an unfurling playlist. I also have grief and rage playlists for moments when moving that energy is needed. But more and more, if that is the case, I listen to beauty.

Grief and beauty are intimately connected, like grief and love. To love fully we must let our hearts break, and our hearts break because we love deeply. Find places to weep, to keep the water moving, for water is life, and stagnant water begets sickness.

A few things to let you know about. I have a 4 week grief training program, Grief Accompaniment, coming up in February, which I imagine will be full of tears and beauty. I am also very much looking forward to hosting a 6 month online program for young adults, Regeneration Rising, which starts in March, registration happening now. My website is not yet up - turns out my rhythm and pacing is slower than the calendar!! You can find all the information and contact details you need below.

One more thing. The most important. Gratitude. And humility. That is two, I know, but they are connected. I arrive at this threshold feeling incredibly resourced and blessed. This is partly a function of the conditions of my life and my privileges certainly. But I am referring to the web of my relations, particularly the mentors I have had over the years, in many forms, whose presence and support, teachings and way of life, offered another way, a path, and a vision. All of the work I do springs from the well of those who have come before, in this living stream of creation.

I returned from a trip to South Africa a few days ago and among many magical and abundant gifts, a highlight was engaging with elephants at an animal sanctuary. Their devoted caretakers had been with them since they were orphaned when their adults were poached nineteen years ago. I arrived home to the rain and clear and strong flowing creeks here in the Chumash territory of Southern California. What a blessing to start the new year embedded within a water ecosystem and with the powerful gifts of Africa, our human origin belly button place, in my bones.

May your dreams for the new year be watered with a gentle rain, and may we find the inspiration we need to continue to show up and bring our hearts, hands and minds together to dream a new dream where everyone belongs and all our relations are tended.

wild grace and beauty blessings,

Alexis

*from Charles Eisenstein

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Inspiration

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Song: Colors by Black Pumas (thank you C.G.)

This morning I did a divination using The Wild Unknown Archetypes Guidebook card deck by Kim Krans and was prompted to read the following poem by Hafiz:

Hafiz: "Now Is the Time"

Now is the time to know

That all that you do is sacred.

Now, why not consider

A lasting truce with yourself and God.

Now is the time to understand

That all your ideas of right and wrong

Were just a child's training wheels

To be laid aside

When you finally live

With veracity

And love.

Hafiz is a divine envoy

Whom the Beloved

Has written a holy message upon.

My dear, please tell me,

Why do you still

Throw sticks at your heart

And God?

What is it in that sweet voice inside

That incites you to fear?

Now is the time for the world to know

That every thought and action is sacred.

This is the time

For you to compute the impossibility

That there is anything

But Grace.

Now is the season to know

That everything you do

Is sacred.

Courting the Dark

Santa Barbara backcountry, Los Padres National Forest

PC: Alexis Slutzky

Greetings !! ~ 

It has been a while, I know, and what a time it has been. Thank you to those of you who have written to let me know you have missed the newsletters in your inbox - that touches me. I am inspired to start writing again and engaging this extended and beloved community. I am grateful for that and for you. Much to reflect on and share, which I intend to do in a longer newsletter perhaps at the end of the year. How to give voice to what has transpired and is transpiring in this time of collective initiation?

For now, to acknowledge we are just on the other side of the Celtic New Year, Sawain, Day of the Dead, the time of the thin veil between the worlds, where the invisible realms and mystery are perhaps more accessible to us. A time of completions, endings, holy rage, heartbreak, approaching the last days of 2021... and simultaneously new beginnings, beauty, fresh perspectives, seeds, gestation ... as the cycles of change continue... same as it ever was, and in no way the same too. We are moving into the dark in the northern hemisphere, in the midst of what a mentor of mine, Francis Weller, calls the Long Dark, referring to these times. We must be prepared for the dark, and learn how to court it. There are practices that help us befriend the dark so we are not afraid, or if we are afraid, to have accompaniment. With hands to hold, songs to sing, stillness to surrender to, attentive listening and heightened senses, dreams, growing our comfort with silence and solitude, feeling the presence of presence/god/spirit/love, slowing way down, honoring what has come before and allowing what is while visioning what will be.

Last night, I gathered online with a group of folks to share together with the energy of the dark moon, as we have been doing each month since the beginning of the year. We reveled in silence, poetry- ours and others (one shared below), shared tears and laughter, and steeped in the felt sense of the seeds we are individually and collectively sowing. This morning, I woke early to swim in the ocean under a cloudy sky. It was marvelously cold, and lo and behold, it began to rain!! Oh water blessing beyond. It was pure divinity to be held within that expanse of water, above and below, behind and before, in all directions, wet. The blessing of that in these dry times and land was extraordinary. The seeds have been watered. And of course, as we remain in dire and beautiful times, we must remember to water the seeds of "the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible"*, every day.

There are a few upcoming and time sensitive online offerings to share below.

If you are called to deepen your capacity to be with grief, as well as accompany others in their grief, please come join this dynamic 4-week online training, Grief Accompaniment.

Additionally, I will be co-facilitating a 6-month virtual journey of exploration and connection for ages 18-28 starting in January 2022- June 2022, ReGeneration Rising.

Podcast interview series coming soon. I am very excited and honored to be having recorded conversations with dear mentors and friends who have made a profound difference in my life, in order that I can share their insights and messages with you (as well as keep myself out of the familiar stance of isolation - stacking functions, the permaculture principle, as a best practice!!) I plan to release the first few episodes at the beginning of the year or shortly thereafter.

Also, as the monthly new moon calls come to completion --- the last one is December 6 from 6-8pm pt, which you are welcome to join, for registration and information, see below --- I am envisioning a new online community forum to continue to gather, share, seek shelter, find belonging, inspiration and rewilding. I will update as it comes into form, which I imagine will co-arise with an updated website. Stay tuned!

Thank you for taking the time to read. Please reach out if you are inspired. I would love to hear what is moving in you. May my gratitude for you be a drop of rain on the dark earth of your soul soil and may you find unexpected blessings in the dark.

in grace and wild peace, 

Alexis

*Charles Eisenstein

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Inspiration

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Veterans Journey Home

12 Veterans participate in a wilderness fast ceremony....Alone for four days and four nights with no contact with the outside world and minimal shelter. Their journey, rigorous and challenging, leads them to a clearer sense of who they are and where they belong in the world as civilians.

You are Your Own Best Thing - book by Tarana Burke and Brene Brown

Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower

Written by Rainer Maria Rilke

Translated by Joanna Macy

Quiet friend who has come so far,

feel how your breathing makes more space around you.

Let this darkness be a bell tower

and you the bell. As you ring,

what batters you becomes your strength.

Move back and forth into the change.

What is it like, such intensity of pain?

If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

In this uncontainable night,

be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,

the meaning discovered there.

And if the world has ceased to hear you,

say to the silent earth: I flow.

To the rushing water, speak: I am.

Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29

A Good Dose of Holy Ferocity

“Tenderly, I now touch all things, knowing one day we will part."

~ Saint John of the Cross

Greetings friends~

It has been an unexpectedly long time since my last newsletter. I planned to write before a trip to Ireland and the Big Island of Hawaii this summer, but it didn't happen, and now here we are, spinning through the cosmos toward winter. After a hot, parched summer in Santa Barbara, I thoroughly enjoyed the lush, green, rainy islands - visiting friends and family on an ancestral pilgrimage and driving a van for a group of astrologers on a sacred site tour of the land of Eriu. I reveled in the wisdom of my neolithic ancestors and their exquisite feats of ingenuity and observation around cosmic cycles and relations with the natural world. Beauty, magic, myth and the way of the feminine were the ground and surround, however, we also auspiciously arrived on the same day as the Pope and throughout the journey bore witness to horrendous stories of current and past abuses of children and women in the name of the Catholic Church. In verdancy and outrage, I returned to Southern California, acutely aware of the dry, dusty creek beds, thirsty trees, effects of fire... as well as the abuses of power, privilege and patriarchy at home, in the midst of a heat further ignited by the recent political and social injustices and unrest. Furthermore, as we here on the west coast are still recovering from fires and related devastations, floods and hurricanes have reeked havoc on the east coast, and now recent mass shootings have deepened our collective despair. The troubles certainly continue to trouble. In this, we are called beyond hope, to delve inside ourselves to uncover the truth of our beings, the dream of our soul and a life of meaning and purpose. May we have the support, courage, faith, steadfastness, imagination, kindness, truth and friendship we need, as well as a good dose of holy ferocity, singing and weeping, laughing and feasting, as we engage this endeavor and meet and greet each moment of change.

November 1, Samhain, in the Celtic tradition, marked the new year, the end of harvest time and the beginning of the dark time, the first days of winter (in this hemisphere). A time in many cultures where the veil between the worlds is thin, and we remember in gratitude, our connection to our ancestors and all that sustains us in this and the Other World. As days become shorter, it is a natural time to turn inward, reflect on what we have experienced, and rest and vision for what is to come.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to slow down and take time to reflect and prepare for the upcoming year. In this spirit, there is not currently much on the calendar. For locals, check out the Women's Grief and Gratitude Retreat in December, and stay tuned for information about Dream Courses, Young Adults Councils and a follow up to the Soul Activism Training. The next local Community Grief Ritual will be March 30-31, 2019 and I am inspired to offer more initiatory programs for youth, as well as continue to provide opportunities for people to cultivate connection, compassion and community both locally and beyond. Stay tuned for updates as dates and programs are confirmed for next year.

Thanks to so many of you who reached out in response to my last newsletter. Thank you to all of you who continue to show up to and for the programs, groups, sessions, councils, talks, etc. I keep offering... your presence enriches myself and others in a shared field of openness and mutual tussling with what it means to be human in this time and place, and how to surrender and respond to what it is we are being called to in service to life. I am deeply grateful and honored.

in love and blessing,

Alexis

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Upcoming Events

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Women's Grief and Gratitude Retreat

December 8-9, 2018

Arroyo Hondo Preserve, CA

Camping

Join us for a weekend camping retreat to explore our grief and gratitude in communion with each other and the land. We will share in circle, engage in ritual, have time on the land, sing and dance, weep and laugh.

With Sharon Tollefson, Elizabeth Gonella, and others.

Saturday 9am - Sunday 4pm.

Register by November 25

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Mundane Miracles, Holy Wonders & Other Tidbits

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SEA STARS

I am very grateful to live near the ocean. Even though at times I lament the sparseness of fresh water due to years of drought, I receive abundant gifts from the salty sea. Not too long ago, I was walking on the beach at low tide with a friend, enjoying conversation and the beauty of the morning. As we passed by familiar rocks covered with muscles and sea anenomes, she excitedly asked, "Is that a starfish?" I followed her gaze to a bright orange area on the underside of a large rock. If you are not from this part of the world, then let me tell you that until about five years ago the area would have been covered with starfish, the orange and purple thick bodied sea stars, and the thin legged ones too. However, I have not personally seen one in years despite my very frequent walks on the beach. Since 2013, almost all of the starfish have been killed, from Alaska to Baja California, as a result of sea star wasting syndrome, a virus of undetermined origin associated with warmer water temperatures (read climate change). So you can imagine my surprise and elation, when I lifted up a strand of sea weed, and lo and behold, there was a bright orange starfish - Ochre Sea Star, Pisaster Ochraceus Segnis. Seeing this creature after years of its absence reminded me of a story I heard from a wild and mischievous teacher regarding seeds and the mystery of life. It was known in some of the rural villages in Guatemala, where he lived, that on occasion, after a good rain, long forgotten seeds would sprout out of the walls of the old mud houses, bearing flowers and fruits never before seen, but heard about in the stories of the old ones, waiting for just the right conditions and circumstances to return again. Along the same thread, another indigenous elder, from the Aleutian Islands on the coast of Alaska, shared his experience of grief as a young boy, when he realized the traditional masks of his people were all lost and forgotten. He was advised by his elder to go out onto the water and sit very quietly for a very long time until he connected to the place from which all things, all traditions, originate - the womb of the world so to speak. The elder shared that the masks resided there waiting to come forth at the right moment. And they did.

ODE TO CLOUDS

I read an article this summer in a local publication entitled, Southern California is Losing Its Clouds: New Study Reveals a Significant Decline Since the 1970s. Apparently "cloud cover is plummeting in southern coastal California," according to a climatologist. I was struck by the absurdity and the impossibility of this... and yet the truth, local clouds on the brink of extinction. So much is changing, lost, forgotten... is there anything exempt from the hand of this uncertain fate? Clouds, are a feast for the imagination, as well as being essential for the earth-atmosphere system, as they help regulate the earth's energy balance by reflecting and scattering solar radiation and absorbing earth's infrared energy. Those ephemeral passing beauties, signifying change and weather, moisture and life. Whimsy. Rain. Rainbows. Protection from the sun. Storms. Heavenly realms. Enchantment. As we learn to dwell in a field of uncertainty, it is good to pause a moment and reflect on the beauty and majesty of clouds. Lift your gaze and look up or outside through the window at the vastness of the sky, our atmosphere and beyond, and breathe in, knowing your heart is as vast. Find a way wherever you are to honor clouds, and for that matter, everything else you see, smell, hear, touch, taste and feel... all the 10,000 things on the cusp of now. We never know when something we notice or may not have noticed, might disappear.

BOOKS I HAVE RECENTLY ENJOYED

Linda Kohanov: The Tao of Equus

Sharon Blackie: If Women Rose Rooted

OTHER RESOURCES THAT HELP

Michael Meade Mosaic Voices Podcast: Hope and Despair #95

VOTING

We are on the eve of midterm elections in the US, and have the possibility to reshape our government and change our collective dream. Whether or not democracy is currently working or for that matter, your personal cup of tea, let us cast our votes for justice, truth and peace and all that is good, however we do it, in the voting booth and in our every day actions and prayers.

Voting Guide for Santa Barbara, CA Thanks to Art Ludwig of Oasis Design.

At the Mercy and Power of the Elements

"It’s possible I am pushing through solid rock

in flintlike layers, as the ore lies, alone;

I am such a long way in I see no way through,

and no space: everything is close to my face,

and everything close to my face is stone.

I don’t have much knowledge yet in grief

so this massive darkness makes me small.

You be the master: make yourself fierce, break in:

then your great transforming will happen to me,

and my great grief cry will happen to you."

~Ranier Maria Rilke

Greetings dear Santa Barbara and Montecito community~

A native elder I know from the Aleutian islands, translates the traditional greeting of his people as, 'the morning tastes good!' It is good to be alive on this cool, bright morning. We have come through a most devastating time in our town and local area, first the fires and then the heartbreaking tragedies surrounding the mudslides. We have found ourselves at the mercy and power of the elements and forces of nature - fire and air, water and earth. Some people in our community have been brought to their knees with the magnitude of loss - the death of loved ones and children, physical injuries, home and belongings, and most of us, even those not directly impacted, have experienced the loss of safety, predictability and certainty. Furthermore, in times of such pain, often other unrelated and untended griefs may come to the surface, from our personal and ancestral history as well as the sorrows of the world and our shared context for this tragedy - our relationship to the natural world. The last weeks have required many of us to stretch beyond our imagination and certainly beyond our capacity.

Amidst the grief and tragedy, and perhaps as a direct result, it has also been a time of community cohesion and kinship. There has been an incredible outpouring of communal response and support - services, funds, goods and opportunities to gather. Literally, folks coming together, rolling up our sleeves and digging each other out of the mud. We are witnessing great acts of courage, redemption, beauty and communion. 

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Upcoming Events in Santa Barbara, CA

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Community Grief Ritual

March 24, 2018

9:30am-5:30pm

Arroyo Hondo Preserve

Open to all 

An opportunity to honor our personal and collective grief with regards to loss and change, sorrows of the world, ancestral grief, trauma, places in ourselves that have not known love, what we expected and did not receive, and the reality that everything we love, we will lose. 

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Women's Dream Group

12 week series

Tuesday evenings 7-9pm

Starts March 6

A circle for women to explore dreams, symbols and archetypal images for personal and collective healing, vision and action.

Register by March 4

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Drop-in Dream Circles

Monday evenings 7-9pm

March 19

April 23

May 21

Open to all

Come with a dream or simply to listen and be in a co-creative field in honor and respect of the mystery as revealed through the dreamtime.